A Man Called Ove Eats a Scandinavian Feast

My book club met last night, and we read a wonderful book entitled A Man Called Ove. I saw the movie when I was in Sweden last summer, and it was really good, but the book was even better! And of course, we had to have a full Swedish smorgasbord to accompany our lively discussion. Everything was as delicious as the charming and poignant novel.

Jaime cured her own salmon gravlax and served it with a mustard sauce, shaved fennel, and brown bread.

Back: Kathy made a Persian chicken and rice dish like a Ove's Iranian neighbor, Parvaneh, shared with him.

Front: Janice made a delicious potato gratin called Flødekartofler, which I think is actually Danish, but oh well. It was yummy!

Clockwise, from bottom left: Shann made Västerbottensost-Oliver, these little cheesy dough-wrapped olives.

Our lovely hostess, Katie, made the ubiquitous cucumber salad that is served with everything in Sweden.

Kathy made potato dumplings filled with bacon and onions called kroppkaka.

I tried to replicate one of the best things I tasted in Sweden, at a proper smorgasbord at the Grand Hotel in Stockholm: A Västerbotten Creme Topped with Strawberry-Rhubarb Preserves which I served with multigrain crispbread. (Västerbotten is a hard, salty cheese, kind of like Swedish Parmesan. A hunk of it was one of the few "souvenirs" that I brought home in my carry-on.)

Katie's cucumber salad.

Janice's gratin.

Kathy's Persian Chicken and Rice.

Kathy's dumplings and my Västerbotten spread.

Janice made another type of potato dish. I think it was also of Danish origin and is called Hasselback Kartofler.

My delicious Scandinavian dinner!

The Swedish stew (kalops) that I made and served with steamed new potatoes and dill.

Domenica made a chocolate kladdkaka (cloud cake) topped with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, and--OF COURSE--a Swedish fish!

Porchmas 2016

I have an amazing group of young friends that used to all live in this two-story house that had a glassed-in sun porch on the upper level. We had so many good times on that porch, that even though everyone has moved out of that residence now, we still refer to ourselves as "Porchlings" when we have our get-togethers. Likewise, our seasonal gift exchange and potluck is dubbed "Porchmas." Tee hee.

For my first culinary contribution, I made Pulled Pork Sliders with Homemade Pickled Green Tomatoes.

For the pulled pork, I marinated about three pounds of boneless ribs in soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, vegetable oil, sriracha, garlic powder and black pepper overnight. Then I browned them on all sides in a large skillet, placed them on the trivet along with a sliced onion over a cup of beef broth, and cooked them on "Meat" for 25 minutes. I let them sit for 10 or 15 minutes before releasing, then shredded the meat with two forks. I sprinkled the shredded meat with a couple of tablespoons of cider vinegar, added a few drops of liquid smoke, a big tablespoon of grainy mustard, and a small bottle of spicy honey barbecue sauce. I served the pulled pork on Hawaiian rolls with homemade pickled green tomatoes.

Pickled Green Tomatoes
(Source: Garden Betty)

Bring the following brine (per quart) to a boil:
1 cup white distilled vinegar (5% acidity)
1 cup water
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon sugar

Place in a washed quart jar:

1 teaspoon yellow mustard seeds
1 teaspoon celery seeds
1 teaspoon coriander seeds
1 teaspoon dill seeds

1/2 teaspoon black peppercorns
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

4 cloves garlic, peeled

Slice the tomatoes to desired thickness and pack into the jar. Cover with hot brine, leaving a half inch of head space. Remove bubbles with the end of a wooden spoon or a chopstick, wipe the rim, and add a lid and ring (fingertip tighten only). Process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes. Store in a cool, dark place. Wait 3-4 weeks before tasting.

My second potluck offering was my old standby, potato salad prepared quickly and easily in the magic pot (four minutes!), which I made a little more festive-looking by including some of my homemade red-and-green cucumber relish that I made this summer/fall. (It was the Year of Peppers and Cucumbers!)

Instant Pot Potato Salad

3 lbs. red potatoes (I peel mine, but you can leave the peels on if you prefer), cut into one-inch chunks
4 large eggs
about 1/2 cup chopped green onions (four large, ends removed)
2 tablespoons sweet relish (I use homemade piccallili or cucumber or pepper relish)
1 large dill pickle, chopped (and about a tablespoon of juice)
about 3/4 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons mustard (I like to use one yellow and one Dijon)
1 teaspoon ground celery
1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic
salt and pepper, to taste (I like to use Cajun seasoning for more "zip")

In a steamer basket over 1 1/2 cups water (I like to use 1 1/4 cups water plus 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar to infuse the potatoes with some tanginess) put in the potato chunks with the whole eggs on top. Cook on manual/high for four minutes, then immediately release. Spread the potato pieces out on a cookie sheet to cool, and dunk the eggs into cold water until cool enough to handle.

Peel and chop the eggs. Mix together green onions, relish, chopped dill pickle and pickle juice, mayo, mustard, ground celery and granulated garlic. Toss in the slightly warm potatoes, using a potato masher or pastry cutter to create a texture like very chunky mashed potatoes, then fold in the chopped eggs. Season to taste. Chill thoroughly, then serve.

Cucumber Pickle Relish
(Source: Ball Blue Book)

4 cups chopped cucumbers
2 cups chopped onions
2 cups chopped sweet red peppers (or hot peppers)
1/4 cup salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon celery seed
1 tablespoon mustard seed
2 teaspoons turmeric
1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper
2 cups cider vinegar
3 tablespoons minced garlic
3 tablespoons chopped fresh dill

Combine cucumbers, onions, red peppers in a large bowl; sprinkle with salt and cover with cold water. Let stand two hours. Drain; rinse and drain thoroughly

Combine sugar, spices and vinegar in a large sauce pot. Bring to a boil. Add drained vegetables; simmer ten minutes. Pack hot relish into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch head space. Remove air bubbles. Adjust two-piece caps. Process 10 minutes (15 for pints) in a boiling-water canner.

Yield: About four pints 

Lastly, for Christmukkah treats, I made three batches of the beloved matzoh toffee, so that I could bag it up as little gifts. And as we are going through a very early cold snap, I was able to use my own porch as a blast chiller for both the potato salad and the matzoh toffee before the party. Ha ha.

CLCA Day 20 and More Fun with Fermentation!

"Cyd's Low-Carb Adventure," Day 20
Cyd is still not yet back to fighting strength, so I have another rather boring report.

Breakfast: Berry Smoothie with Almond Milk and Chia Seeds
Lunch: Popcorn (ugh)
Dinner: Turkey, Avocado, and Tomato Sandwich on a Whole Wheat Tortilla
Dessert: Local Strawberries with Whipped Cream

As I was freed from cooking duties for another day, I turned my attention to a second pickling project: traditional kosher dill pickles made by fermentation rather than brining in vinegar and canning. (I am trying to simulate the awesome ones that I bought from Po'Boys & Pickles in Portland, ME.) One peck of small Kirby cukes produced THREE GALLONS (or rather, six half-gallons) of pickles which are now hanging out in the laundry room, aka The Fermentation Station--for at least a week and up to three! I hope my nerves can handle the wait and the stress.

Note: This recipe is based on one from my friend Ron Nolland's grandmother. His methodology is to leave the jars on the counter for just two days and then into the fridge. But I prefer a more sour pickle. So I almost doubled the salt in his recipe, hoping to be able to get more room temperature fermentation time before the pickles get transfered to cold storage. We shall see. It's all a big experiment. (Maybe I should have just done a half peck then, huh? Tee hee. Oh well, I like to live on the edge!)

Fermented Kosher Dills

1/2 peck of small pickling cukes
1 gallon (non-chlorinated) water
2/3 cup canning salt (or sea salt)

In each half gallon jar (you'll get three):
2 grape leaves, washed
4 large (or 6 smaller) garlic cloves, peeled
10 peppercorns
1 teaspoon pickling spice
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 heads of fresh dill
18-22 small (pre-soaked) cucumbers, blossom end removed

Scrub cucumbers with a brush and remove the blossom end. Soak in cold water in the refrigerator overnight.

The next day, bring the water and salt to a boil, then let cool. Meanwhile, prepare your jars that have been washed in hot, soapy water. Place a grape leaf in the bottom, along with half of the garlic and spices, and one head of dill. Pack in the (drained) cukes, then add the rest of the garlic, spices, and the other head of dill.

Fill the jars with cooled brine, leaving at least one inch of head room. Add the other grape leaf on top. Fill three small baggies with some of the leftover brine and weight down the pickles. (Or use a smaller glass jar, lid or disk, or a sterilized stone as a weight if you prefer.)

Let the pickles ferment on the counter (on a lined tray or plastic tub) for five to seven days, then taste one. Keep fermenting (up to three weeks) until sufficiently sour. The brine should bubble and turn cloudy. If any mold forms, just scrape it off and discard. Add additional brine if necessary. When the pickles are sour enough to your liking, remove the brine baggies, cap the jars, and store in the fridge (for months).

Follow-Up (8/7/14): It's been a week since I started fermenting the kosher dills, and I sampled one tonight. They are DELICIOUS, and they were already about 3/4 sour, so I called them "done" and moved them into the garage fridge. I am SO proud! 

Additional Note: If you try this method, and at the end, you miss the distinctive tang of vinegar, try adding a couple of tablespoons of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar to the jar after the pickles are done with their room temperature fermentation. Bragg's is a live/cultured product, so you won't be interefering with all that probiotic goodness that you waited a week or more to develop. :-)

CLCA Day 19 and Fun with Fermentation!

"Cyd's Low-Carb Adventure," Day 19
Once again, I have nothing exciting to report, as Cyd stayed home sick today. She finally felt better enough to have some dinner this evening, so she had two of the leftover carnitas tostadas, and some sugar-free Jell-O for dessert.

Since I didn't have to cook anything new/special today, I turned my attention to some pickling projects. ('Tis the season, you know.) I have a peck of Kirby cukes cleaned, trimmed, and soaking in cold water in the fridge overnight to be dealt with further on the morrow.

And then I have another fermentation experiment going on in the laundry room: I am trying to recreate something I bought at a farmers' market in Maine that the vendor called Swedish Carrots. I made nine pints! I sure hope they turn out. I guess we'll see in 5-7 days.

Swedish Carrots

4 lbs. organic carrots*, peeled, ends removed, and thinly sliced
1 gallon water (non-chlorinated)
2/3 cup canning salt or sea salt

In each (pint) jar:
1 bay leaf
1 large peeled garlic clove
1 tablespoon thinly sliced or chopped onion
1 small head of fresh dill
1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard seed
1/4 teaspoon peppercorns
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes, optional

Prepare the carrots, then leave soaking in cool water until ready to pack your jars. Meanwhile, bring a gallon of water and the salt to a boil, then turn off the heat and let cool.

Place all of the herbs and seasonings in the jars, fill with (drained) carrots, and cover with the cooled brine. Use the handle of a wooden spoon along the sides of the jar and in the middle to help remove air pockets. Put about 1/4 cup of the remaining brine in a sandwich baggie, and place one in the top of each jar to weight down the carrots and keep them submerged in the brine. (Or you could use a smaller glass jar, lid or disk or a sterilized stone if you prefer.)

Place the jars in a cool, dark place (on a lined tray to catch the overflow as they start to ferment). Check every day, and skim off any mold that may form at the top (a cloudy, fizzy brine is normal). Add a little more brine if necessary to keep the carrots covered. Start tasting on day three, and let them go until they taste the way you'd like, probably between 5-7 days. When the carrots are as sour as you want, remove the baggies, cap the jars, and store in the fridge (for months).

*You can also add sliced parsnips and rutabagas along with the carrots if you like.

In which I create blackberry beer jam...

Back in September at a meeting of my book club, I sampled some blackberry beer jam that a friend acquired at a microbrew festival in Quebec. When I mentioned the jam in passing online, my beer connoisseur and brewmaster friend, Mike, got all excited and wanted to try some. So I thought I might buy a couple of jars for him as a Christmas gift. But it's not available online, and even a trip to the Unibroue Brewery in Chambly, QC proved, err, fruitless. So I thought, fine then, I'll make my own dang blackberry beer jam! How hard could it be? Well...it was a bit of a challenge, mostly because I searched the entire internet for a recipe that I could use or at least follow somewhat closely and modify, but I couldn't find much. Was this a bad sign? Is the sweet pairing of berries and beer that uncommon and far-fetched?

As it turns out, I ended up morphing together a recipe for rhubarb beer jam (yes, that's a thing) and a methodology for making seedless blackberry jam without commercial pectin, and I was shocked that my Franken-jam actually turned out GREAT! It was delicous, and it set up perfectly using natural pectin from green apples. I ended up with 14 half-pint jars of the stuff, and I mailed quite a few of those all over the country for friends at Christmas who were enticed by just the idea of blackberry beer jam, and by some of the pictures that  posted on Facebook, no doubt. I used frozen fruit at this time of year, of course, but I can't wait to try this again next summer when the local berries are ripe, and maybe make a raspberry beer jam, too!

I recommend making this jam over two days to split up the work and spare the cook, and also to enhance the flavors. I completed Phases I and II of Operation Blackberry Beer Jam in one evening session. Last night, I crushed four pounds of blackberries with a potato masher and cooked them with five cups of chopped Granny Smith apples (cores, seeds, peels and all) in three pints (four cans) of Long Trail Blackberry Wheat Beer for about 25 minutes until soft and pulpy. I pressed all of this through a fine mesh sieve, removing most of the seeds and skins. To the resulting ten cups of puree, I added an equal amount of sugar (I might cut this down to 75% next time), two split vanilla beans, and the zest and juice of three lemons.

At that point, I put the whole pot in the fridge and let it macerate overnight. Then today, I cooked it down until it reached 220 degrees (and passed the frozen plate test*), and then I jarred it up, processed it in a boiling water bath for ten minutes, and prayed that it would set without commercial pectin. And it did! YAY! I swear, I may have to go into business selling this stuff--it's a hot commodity!

*When you start cooking your jam, put a small glass plate in the freezer. Once the jam hits 220 degrees on a candy thermometer, place a teaspoonful on the frozen plate, let it cool for a minute, and then press it a bit gently with your fingertip. If it wrinkles, you're good to go. Alternately, run your fingertip through the middle of the jam, and if the furrow stays clear and the two halves of the jam don't run back together, you're good to go. If not, keep cooking the jam another five minutes and try the test(s) again.

LOOK at the gorgeous color of that purée!











I got 14 jars--PLENTY to share with friends as tasty little Christmas gifts!

Clinging to the spoon as it cooled--a PERFECT set!

The First Canning Project of the Harvest Season: Pickled Peaches!

Peaches don't grow here in the North Country, but we do get lovely ones from downstate, and they are just starting to arrive. I bought a couple of small baskets the other day, and decided to make pickled peaches. I'm not sure where or why this idea entered my head, as I have never even had pickled peaches. But I have never met a pickle I didn't like, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Maybe they will mellow as they sit in the jar, but my initial impression is that they are mighty powerful ju-ju on their own. (Of course, I only used half the sugar called for and a straight vinegar brine, so there's that.) But I can tell you that they are DEE-licious with some grilled pork chops!

One little tip, though. I had peaches at three stages of ripeness. The ripest ones almost turned to mush in the jar, and the hard ones were too crunchy for my tastes when pickled. So go for the peaches that are just a wee bit underripe, like they need another day on your counter before you'd eat them out of hand. They'll turn out perfectly.

Pickled Peaches
(Source:adapted from GardenWeb's Harvest Forum)

24 small peaches, peeled
3 cups sugar (I cut this in half)
1 1/2 cups apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 cups white vinegar
2 tablespoons pickling spice
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, optional
3” section of ginger peeled and thinly sliced (I cut the slices into tiny matchsticks)

Bring a sauce pan of water to the boil, the dunk the peaches in for 30-60 seconds. Strain them into a bowl of iced water to cool, the slip off the skins. Cut the peaches into eighths, and squeeze a little lemon or lime juice (or Fruit Fresh) over them as you work to keep them from turning brown.

Bring the sugar, vinegars, spices and ginger to the boil. Add the peaches to hot jars, then cover with the boiled brine. Remove the air bubbles, wipe the rims, add the lids and rings (fingertip tighten), then process in a boiling water bath for 20 minutes for pints, 25 minutes for quarts.
 

Kooky Korean Kondiment

Last summer, some friends and I attended a kimchi cooking class in Burlington. Each dish we sampled there was SCRUMPTIOUS, but one of the things that I was intrigued by were all the condiments that you could add to your food. My favorite were these garlic scapes that were cut up and pickled in a soy-based brine. So yummy! Of course, this was August, and garlic scapes were long gone from the local markets, so I had to wait a whole year to make my own. But I finally did!

 

The kimchi lady, Michelle, told me that she used the following brine from Maangchi's site: 5 cups of water, 1/4 cup salt, 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of soy sauce, and 1/2 cup of vinegar, boiled.  That's it...that's all I had to go on. That is the brine I made, but I doubled the vinegar to one cup total. When I make it in the future, I would cut the sugar down by half and double the vinegar yet again. I think I might also leave out the salt and just use more soy sauce. Still, the resulting pickled bits were very tasty...just a bit sweet for my tastes.

 

The other issue is that garlic scapes are tough, and they need to be cooked for awhile to be edible (IMHO). Now you could boil them in the brine until crisp-tender, then pack them in containers afterward. But I decided to do it the other way around, packing the cut scapes (half-inch pieces) into pint-sized canning jars, covering with hot brine, and then processing them in a boiling water bath for ten minutes. However--and I MUST STRESS THIS IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION--this is not a proper canning recipe, as the water-vinegar ratio would have to be at least 50-50. So the resulting jars of Korean pickled scapes should NOT be considered shelf stable! Oh, the jars will seal upon cooling, of course, but then store them in the fridge as you would do anything perishable. Then sprinkle the pickled scape bits on top of any of your favorite Asian recipes, like fried rice or noodles or what have you.

 

 

 

 

My new pickled OBSESSION!

I discovered the pungent joy of spring's garlic scapes quite a few years ago, but up until now, all I've ever done with them is add them to a stir fry or make a powerful pesto. But this year, I decided to try making them into PICKLES! I just used my favorite dilly bean recipe (without the garlic cloves, of course), and they turned out PERFECTLY!

However, the most important thing I learned was that the wispy, chive-like bit at the end of each scape are tough and NOT good eats. So just trim those away, and then cut the thicker stems into lengths that will fit into pint jars. IF the flower head is slender and still tightly closed, you can add those to the jars as well, then proceed as you would do with green beans. You really should wait two weeks before you open and try them (even better, wait a month), but I only made it week before I ate the first jar, and went in search of more scapes to pickle a second batch! ;-)

Time for the kitchen elves to get to work!

Over Thanksgiving break, I took the opportunity to bust out my canner and start working on some holiday treats for friends and colleagues. First up was a lovely apple butter that I made in my crock pot. Usually, I make an apple butter that is highly spiced, but I ran across a recipe for a maple vanilla apple butter that sounded heavenly, and it skips the traditional spices that would surely mask the subtler flavors of the maple and vanilla. In fact, the taste reminds one of a caramel apple. Yum! And making it in the crock pot is so easy, and saves you from being burned by the spattering! I highly recommend this apple butter for a holiday gift-giving idea.

Maple Vanilla Apple Butter
(Source: adapted from Good Cheap Eats)
Yield: 3 pints

12 Granny Smith apples, about 3 pounds, peeled, cored, and sliced (I used Macs and Cortlands)
1 cup apple cider (or juice)
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract  

Place the apples and cider or juice in a five quart slow cooker. Set on high and cook for three hours. Puree apple mixture until smooth using an immersion blender or in a food processor.

Stir in brown sugar, maple syrup, and vanilla extract. Continue to cook on high for another three hours. The sauce should thicken and darken and mound up on a spoon. (It won’t spread out across the spoon when you scoop some up.)

Pour apple butter into hot, sterilized jars. Fit with metal lids and bands. Place in hot water bath and process for 10 minutes. Remove jars from water bath and allow to cool undisturbed overnight on a towel on the counter, spacing them at least an inch apart. Once cool, remove bands and check lids for seal. Store in a cool, dark place.

My second holiday gift idea was inspired by a company that I just love that I discovered on our vacation to Maine last summer, Raye's Mustard, I had originally thought to order some of their sampler packs for Christmas presents for some of my colleagues, but then I became inspired by my friend, Carl, who reportedly makes a mean Oktoberfest beer mustard. I decided to make two varieties: a double batch of a sweet, fruity cranberry mustard, and then the German mustard that packs a real punch. I canned them in those cute little four-ounce jelly jars, and I ended up with two dozen gifts for folks at work that haven't been naughty. ;-)

Cranberry Mustard
(Source: Ball Canning)
Yield: at least 7 (4 oz.) jars

1 cup red wine vinegar
2/3 cup yellow mustard seeds
1 cup water
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
2-3/4 cups fresh or frozen cranberries (about 2 12-oz bag)
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup dry mustard
2-1/2 teaspoons ground allspice

1.) BRING vinegar to a boil in a medium saucepan. Remove from heat and add mustard seeds. Cover and let stand at room temperature until seeds have absorbed most of the moisture, about 1-1/2 hours
2.) PREPARE boiling water canner. Heat jars and lids in simmering water until ready for use. Do not boil. Set bands aside.
3.) COMBINE mustard seeds and liquid, water and Worcestershire sauce in a food processor or blender. Process until slightly grainy. Add cranberries and blend until chopped.
4.) BRING cranberry mixture to a boil in a medium saucepan, stirring constantly. Reduce heat and simmer for five minutes, stirring frequently. Whisk in sugar, dry mustard and allspice. Continue to simmer, stirring frequently, until volume is reduced by a third, about 15 minutes.
5.) LADLE hot mustard into hot jars leaving 1/4 inch headspace. Remove air bubbles. Wipe rim. Center hot lid on jar. Apply band and adjust until fit is fingertip tight.
6.) PROCESS in a boiling water canner for 10 minutes, adjusting for altitude. Remove jars and cool. Check lids for seal after 24 hours. Lid should not flex up and down when center is pressed.

Oktoberfest Beer Mustard
(Source: adapted from Ball Canning)
Yield: at least 5 (4 oz.) jars

1-1/2 cups beer (Carl uses Guiness; I used a pumpkin ale)
1 cup brown mustard seeds (I used half brown and half yellow seeds)
1 cup water
1/2 cup malt vinegar
1/2 cup lightly packed brown sugar (I used a whole cup)
1/4 cup dry mustard
1 tablespoon onion powder

1.) COMBINE beer and mustard seeds in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat, cover and let stand at room temperature until seeds have absorbed most of the moisture, about two hours.
2.) PREPARE boiling water canner. Heat jars and lids in simmering water until ready for use. Do not boil. Set bands aside.
3.) PLACE mustard seeds and remaining liquid in a food processor or blender. Process until chopped and slightly grainy.
4.) TRANSFER mixture to a large saucepan. Whisk in water, vinegar, brown sugar, dry mustard and onion powder. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently, until volume is reduced by a third, about 15 minutes.
5.) LADLE hot mustard into hot jars leaving 1/4 inch headspace. Remove air bubbles. Wipe rim. Center hot lid on jar. Apply band and adjust until fit is fingertip tight.
6.) PROCESS in a boiling water canner for 10 minutes, adjusting for altitude. Remove jars and cool. Check lids for seal after 24 hours. Lid should not flex up and down when center is pressed.

Save us all from.....THE ZUCCHINI!

On their vacations, most people would head for the nearest beach with a book from their summer reading list. But not me, Crazy Canning Lady! Already this week, I've managed to produce 11 jars of the much-heralded blueberry-lime jam, and five pints of.....wait, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. First, my typically lengthy exposition.

I have had a long-standing belief that there should be city ordinances regulating the planting of zucchini each year. I think one plant per neighborhood is all that should be allowed. But we all seem to feel it necessary to plant several "hills" of different varieties, and then by late summer, the sinister summer squashes creep inside our houses and threaten to smother us all in our sleep! No matter how often you harvest, another full-grown squash miraculously takes the place of the one you picked the day before. And if you don't pick them one day, they are the size of RV's by the next! So this year, with the farmers' market baking and canning consuming all of my time, I decided just to plant tomatoes and peppers, and nothing else. But let me tell you, the only thing worse than having to contend with your own prolific squash plants is making the mistake of telling people that you didn't plant any this year, and then being DELUGED with their "gifts" of zucchini.

Initially, I was quite grateful, as I do bake zucchini bread weekly for the market, and it kills me to have to BUY zucchini. But now that the harvest is in full swing, I am DROWNING in it! This week, I had a big cardboard boxful of a yummy, light-green, ribbed variety dropped at my back door (thanks to Kelly and Dana, my friends/colleagues/neighbors/fellow carpoolers), and a huge basketful of monster-sized organic black beauties given to me at the farmers' market by Ruthie, the cheese vendor in the stall next to me. (I gave her some red currant jelly in return, which I think was an excellent trade.) I saved a few of the smaller squashes just to eat with our dinners this week, and it took me several hours yesterday to peel, core and shred the rest. I ended up with 21 pint-sized bags for the freezer (no more room left in there!), and still had ten cups left over. But I took that as a sign from on high, because ten cups is the perfect amount to make a batch of zucchini relish. What's that, you say? Zucchini relish? Yes, indeed, it's good stuff! You use it anywhere you might use regular pickle relish, say on a burger or hot dog, or stirred into potato or macaroni salad. Or you could use it as a zesty condiment for any grilled meats or fish. Some folks love it so much, they eat it straight from the jar with a spoon!

A quick Google search will yield a legion of recipes for zucchini relish, but I was struck with how similar most of them are. Then again, I suppose to make a shelf-stable product, you would have to maintain basic proportions of ingredients. But I do think you can be a little creative with your relish, as long as those proportions are generally maintained. As for me, I worked with two recipes that were nearly identical, one from my dear friend Kurt's mother, Muriel, and one from the GardenWeb's Linda Lou, of the apple pie jam fame. I particularly liked that Muriel adds carrots to hers, giving the resulting product a lovely confetti look and sweeter taste. Linda Lou's, on the other hand, has extra onion for more kick, and I love the addition of celery seed, one of my favorite spices.

However, there were several places where I parted company with both Muriel and Linda Lou. Though Linda Lou uses less sugar than Muriel, I really wanted a relish that was not too sweet. (As you may recall, with cucumbers, I like sour dills, not sweet pickles or even bread-and-butter varieties.) In my review of recipes online, I saw recipes with as little as three cups of sugar all the way up to six cups. So I opted for the low end on the sugar. Also, instead of a regular green pepper, I swapped out hot peppers (anaheims, jalapenos, serranos and super chilis) instead for some punch. In the same vein, I also added a few cloves of minced garlic, as is my way. And though both Muriel and Linda Lou (and many others out there) call for it, I simply cannot support the addition of nutmeg to this relish. Some people swear by it, that it makes the relish truly special, but I am just not a big fan of nutmeg in savory applications. As a final note, I should mention that I peeled my zucchini before grating it, but you might choose not to. It certainly makes a prettier relish if you don't peel it. But peeled or not, if your zucchini are large, you will definitely want to remove the spongy core and the seeds, neither of which are good eats. Anyway, that's why my relish isn't green but looks more like a sort of golden sauerkraut (due to the tumeric and mustard seed and maybe a little from the carrots). Actually, I suppose you could use cabbage instead of zucchini, if you were so inclined, but that would make it chow-chow, wouldn't it? Ok, ok, enough nonsense. On to the recipe:


Zucchini Relish
(an homage to Muriel and Linda Lou)

10 cups zucchini, peeled or not, cored, seeded and either ground (who has a grinder anymore?) or shredded (which I much prefer)
3 cups onions, peeled, ends removed and grated or finely chopped
2 cups carrots, ground or shredded
1 red pepper, seeded, cored and finely chopped
1 cup mixed hot peppers, seeded, cored and finely chopped (or one green pepper if you're a wuss)
4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
5 tablespoons canning/pickling salt
2 1/2 cups cider vinegar
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons mustard seeds (I used yellow--brown would be spicier)
2 teaspoons celery seeds
3/4 teaspoon tumeric

Combine all of the shredded/chopped vegetables with the salt in a large, non-metallic bowl. Cover and refrigerate overnight. The next day, drain very well. (Some people choose to rinse the mixture to remove more of the salt, but I like my pickled relishes a little on the salty side!)

Bring the vinegar, sugar, and spices to a boil in a large stock pot. Add the drained zucchini mixture, stir well, and bring back to a vigorous boil. Some recipes call for up to 30 minutes of simmering the relish, but I think it gets too mushy and colorless if you cook it that long. I would opt for 10-15 minutes until much of the liquid evaporates and the mixture just starts to thicken. Pack in hot, sterilized jars (using that plastic stick thing that came with your canning kit, or any non-metallic spatula, to remove air bubbles from the thick relish). Process in a boiling water bath, 10 minutes for half-pints, and 15 minutes for pints. As with all pickled products, let the flavors develop for at least a month before opening and consuming.

Yield: 5 pints